Home Sweet Orgrimmar

So I faction-transferred to Horde a few months ago and, well, I’m not gonna go into the whole I-miss-my-slender-dainty-Night-Elf thing but I am gonna say, YO!!  How come Orgrimmar’s layout is SO much better than all the Alliance cities combined?

Orgrimmar’s layout is just win.  Having only known city designs of the Alliance persuasion, I was shocked at the simplicity, the purity, the minimalistic brilliance of Orgrimmar’s hut placements.  Stormwind is like a maze with no direct route anywhere.  This is a particular pet peeve of mine because in real life, I have to deal with a patch of foresty grass between my house and the bus stop, through which a lovely cement path is inlaid… at an acute angle leading AWAY from the bus stop.  The grass is so pristine and staked out with signs warning against stepping on it, that I just can’t walk on it.  I have to take the path, which makes me look pretty dumb because I’m walking AWAY from my bus stop.  Then, upon reaching the sidewalk on the other side of the grass, I have to turn almost completely around and walk back in the correct direction.  You know what, I can’t really describe it clearly so I’ll draw it:

How dumb is that?  Look at how many extra steps I have to take!  Think of how many people already waiting at the bus stop titter to themselves watching me take all those unnecessary steps!  The more I think about it, the more I realize how truly indignant I am about this poorly designed, ill-thought-out, completely unnecessary layout.  Every morning taking this path I ball up my fists and pretend like I’m not going to the bus stop at all, and then pretend that I whimsically change my mind.  Why must I go through this subterfuge?  Whoever made this design is adding layers of deceit and charades to my life that I really could have done without.  Thank you.

So yeah I think I have a special case against Stormwind’s layout.  Why the canals?  Why the passageways which are so completely not the shortest possible routes?  Why the forcing of extra steps in wrong directions?  I want to be able to run in diagonals, Blizzard.  I don’t like the twists and turns and ninety degree angles.  How have diagonals ever hurt anybody, is it a human thing?  You think humans don’t like diagonals?

I’m not even gonna get into Darnassus and Exodar layouts.

Ironforge was actually my preferred city as Alliance.  I liked that you could just run in a straight line from the Bank ot the Auction House, that was okay.  I guess my beef with Ironforge would be, you still had to run a long distance.  Porting there from Dalaran, you land in a room that dismounts you.  You run pitter-patter on your feet outside of the room, where you then mount up again.  Then you gallop a long… circular… long… round… long… curving… long way til you finally reach the Auction House.  You check out what the market’s like, run across the bridge to check your mail, run across the bridge to re-post your expired auctions, run across the bridge to get some stuff out of your bank, run across the bridge to pick up some reagents, run across the bridge to repair, and run across the bridge to see if AH prices changed at all.

Ironforge is not bad, I liked it, back when I didn’t know any better.  I thought hey, running in a straight line is good, it’s great, it’s nice and clean, no acute angles leading away from your destination for example, what more can I ask for?  And then I finally discovered Orgrimmar.

Orgrimmar, with its sunbaked dirt paths and big round straw roofs, is the true city of my dreams.  First off, you port mounted and you land mounted.  It’s all open air!  No time wasted running out of a dumb room and re-mounting.  You load and you ride right off.  Second, forget about yearning for diagonal shortcuts, in Orgrimmar you do vertical shortcuts.  You just ride right off the road… onto a roof… onto another roof… and bam! you’re at the bank.  It’s like showing someone who’s trudged long flights of stairs all his life how to just jump cleanly out the window.  I was gonna say take an elevator but it’s faster than that and you do lose some HP upon landing.

In Orgrimmar, the AH and Bank are not only situated extremely close to each other, they each have their OWN mailbox right at their door.  And the bankers/auctioneers can be reached by running in a straight unobstructed line from the entrance, no stupid fences or rope lines to jump over (I guess they were trying to make Stormwind as human as possible… but rope lines really?).  Inn, repairs and reagents are all just a few steps away.

I never thought I’d like Orgrimmar, the first time I saw it raiding as Alliance.  It was too primitive and Earthy-looking, what a bunch of savages right?  But seriously, it’s made me realize that simple is best sometimes.  People tend to overcomplicate things as they try to advance, try to make things look more planned out and just totally make it a fancy-looking headache.  Too much planning can lead to rope lines and acute-angle paths.  Sometimes, people just want to jump off roofs you know?

I can’t say I don’t have pangs of wistfulness sometimes, when I look at my Tauren’s filthy matted hair and beady eyes.  Especially when I think about how they’re taking away Tree form and I’m going to be stuck looking at this hulking beast all the time.  But all things considered I’m really happy I switched to Horde; funny how important the smaller conveniences turn out to be.

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One Response to “Home Sweet Orgrimmar”

  1. I still hope they’re going to change their mind and let us keep the tree form. It’s the best part of being a druid

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